As a New Yorker who spends a minimum of three hours a day on public transportation, I am often subjected to musical performances from panhandlers.
There are all types of performers roaming the subway system, many of whom actually play pleasant music. There are various accordion players, mariachi bands (always dressed nicely!), a cappella groups, violinists, brass instrumentalists, etc.
One of my favorite singers is a guy I call The Chicken Man. He often boards the E and F trains in Queens begging not for money, but for chicken! He sings in a monotone voice and has his own special rhythm that gets lodged in your head for days. His lyrics include lines like: “I am hungry/ I love chicken/ I love all kinds of chicken/ Kentucky Fried Chicken/ Kennedy Fried Chicken/ Chicken McNuggets/ Chicken Wings/ I love to eat chicken.” Once, I actually had leftover chicken fingers from a restaurant I dined at and gave The Chicken Man the chicken. I felt so proud!
However, last Saturday night, I met the new king of subway performers—The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist.
The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist boarded the 6 train in Manhattan going towards the Bronx around 1AM. He was wearing a Santa hat with tin foil antennas. He immediately announced that he was an alien and needed money to get back to his planet. He later told us that if we gave him money, he would take Sarah Palin back to his planet with him. Then he began playing his saxophone. At first, it was decent—not great, but passable. Then he played high-pitched squeals that hurt the eardrums. After that noise, he said that he would keep playing until people gave him money. No one did. A couple of drunk 20-year-olds decided to request songs from him; he didn’t know any of the tunes. He then played his sax again, followed by the squeal and begging. This went on for well over 10 stops. At one point, a bum went to get on the train. Once he saw The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist, he threw his hands in the air and ran off the train. He knew better than all of us who just sat on the train and continued to listen to this crap. Then, The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist said he was going to play a special song for the prettiest lady on the train. Of course, that just had to be me (sometimes it doesn’t pay to be this beautiful!). He stood right in front of me and played “For (S)he’s A Jolly Good Fellow.” Everyone on the train was looking at me. I was mortified! Throughout all of this, The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist was laughing; he knows he’s crazy, but he knows that he was also—in some bizarre way—entertaining the subway riders. Finally, he got off the train. At the next stop, we all heard his saxophone wailing from the next car in front of us and we all laughed, relieved to know he had moved on and was now torturing other riders.
There are all types of performers roaming the subway system, many of whom actually play pleasant music. There are various accordion players, mariachi bands (always dressed nicely!), a cappella groups, violinists, brass instrumentalists, etc.
One of my favorite singers is a guy I call The Chicken Man. He often boards the E and F trains in Queens begging not for money, but for chicken! He sings in a monotone voice and has his own special rhythm that gets lodged in your head for days. His lyrics include lines like: “I am hungry/ I love chicken/ I love all kinds of chicken/ Kentucky Fried Chicken/ Kennedy Fried Chicken/ Chicken McNuggets/ Chicken Wings/ I love to eat chicken.” Once, I actually had leftover chicken fingers from a restaurant I dined at and gave The Chicken Man the chicken. I felt so proud!
However, last Saturday night, I met the new king of subway performers—The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist.
The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist boarded the 6 train in Manhattan going towards the Bronx around 1AM. He was wearing a Santa hat with tin foil antennas. He immediately announced that he was an alien and needed money to get back to his planet. He later told us that if we gave him money, he would take Sarah Palin back to his planet with him. Then he began playing his saxophone. At first, it was decent—not great, but passable. Then he played high-pitched squeals that hurt the eardrums. After that noise, he said that he would keep playing until people gave him money. No one did. A couple of drunk 20-year-olds decided to request songs from him; he didn’t know any of the tunes. He then played his sax again, followed by the squeal and begging. This went on for well over 10 stops. At one point, a bum went to get on the train. Once he saw The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist, he threw his hands in the air and ran off the train. He knew better than all of us who just sat on the train and continued to listen to this crap. Then, The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist said he was going to play a special song for the prettiest lady on the train. Of course, that just had to be me (sometimes it doesn’t pay to be this beautiful!). He stood right in front of me and played “For (S)he’s A Jolly Good Fellow.” Everyone on the train was looking at me. I was mortified! Throughout all of this, The Extraterrestrial Saxophonist was laughing; he knows he’s crazy, but he knows that he was also—in some bizarre way—entertaining the subway riders. Finally, he got off the train. At the next stop, we all heard his saxophone wailing from the next car in front of us and we all laughed, relieved to know he had moved on and was now torturing other riders.
2 comments:
This guy has been around for years and I remember him back from when he used to say that he would take Reagan back with him. He always had cats in a knapsack along with him and I agree his was not as much playing as making insane noise with the thing.
Cats in a knapsack!?! OMG!!!
This guy had a knapsack...but I didn't hear any meows!!!
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